Truly Unconditional Love

Dan and I in August 2007 when we were just becoming friends.

Part of the frustration of this whole being chronically ill thing is feeling like I am a failure as a wife, that Dan didn't sign up for this, and he deserves better. A few weeks ago I was venting this frustration to Dan and I asked again, "why do you love me?" 

I grew up being told I was loved unconditionally, but being shown otherwise. This has caused me to constantly feel like I have to work to be good enough to be loved. Dan never made me feel like that. But the fear of not being loved because I was unable to fulfill some unspoken expectation was still something I struggled with. 

So there was a lot behind that question, "why do you love me?" 

He simply replied, "You're my best friend."

And it finally clicked with me. He really loves me just for me. It doesn't matter what I can or can not do for him, it is simply about who I am. I am his best friend. 

Other people can cook and clean and do all manner of things for him, but no one else can be me. No one else will ever listen to, laugh with, care about, or connect with him like me. I am irreplaceable in that aspect and that makes me worth fighting for.