Jaw Surgery Day 15

It has been two weeks! I am done with antibiotics and I haven't had any pain killers in a few days! My mood is still down, but improving.

I was supposed to have my two week post-op today, but I went in on Monday since I had been running a low fever. I checked out fine, so I don't know what the fever is about.

Anyway, how about some pics!

Day 10. 

Went to the mall with my little sis to get a new bottle of foundation. She got her first bottle of foundation and a tube of concealer while we were there! 

Day 11.

Day 14.

My little sis left early in the morning. So I am taking care of myself now. Managed to do some yoga. Starting to feel a little more human!

Big messy sock bun! So awesome for dirty hair. ;)

Profile. I thought this sorta half silhouette effect was neat

Day 15. Today. 

I do feel pretty with make-up on.

Swelling has reached a point where it going down really slowly, but you can see a little definition there between my cheekbone and my cheek! 

Thank so much to everyone who has given me an encouraging comment either here or on my facebook. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever gone through and each one of your comments really mean a lot to me!

Jaw Surgery Day 9

Days 3 and 4 I think weren't too bad. I honestly don't even remember.

Day 5 I was feeling really nauseous all day. That night I threw up... and continued to throw up every couple hours till morning. Except after the second time there was nothing left but my body was still trying to throw up. We called my regular doctor around 3am (I didn't know that in these type of situations you could actually talk to you regular doctor in the middle of the night!) and he said my body was probably just overloaded with painkillers. Basically all I had to do was stop taking painkillers and wait it out. That was not enjoyable in the least. Oh, throwing up wasn't really made any worse because of my jaw, your body just works it out I guess! but still not fun.

Day 6 I don't remember. But here is a picture!

Pretty swollen and you can see the bruising a bit. 

Day 7 I started getting really emotional. Worried about the lack of feeling in my lip and my looks. I kept feeling like I had had to cry, but couldn't just outright cry. I even watched sad music videos and A Little Princess to try and make me cry! I didn't sleep at all that night. Kept trying, but nothing.

Did my eye make-up and a little blush. I actually felt pretty. You can see the bruising on my lower cheeks and all the way down my chest!

We went out to eat at Chili's that night. I called ahead and asked if they could blend their Chicken Enchilada Soup for me. It was good to get out of the house for a short bit.

Day 8 I had my one week post-op with my surgeon. He showed me how to position my teeth correctly and said I had to practice a few times a day to train my muscles. It is already easier. No infection! I was a bit worried about that because there is some pain on my left side and I have been running a low fever, but it is probably just a pulled muscle. A stitch in the back of my mouth has come loose and was bothering me so my surgeon trimmed that. Much better! He said I could sleep on my side, it would't mess up my jaw, if it was painful I'd move naturally.

Oh, I cried a little at the surgeon's office. I don't know why everything was good news! My surgeon even seemed a bit surprised that I was already feeling tingles in my lip and chin. He said that is a really really good sign for the feeling coming back. I still actually feel nothing, but it sure is tingling a lot.

After I got home from my post-op appointment I thought I would sleep. I was falling asleep in the car, but no such luck at home! Eventually I got up and went on a 30min walk. Probably overdid it a bit, but I was hoping it would help me sleep. Nope.

Later in the afternoon we went to Target to get me a waterpik. When we got back home I finally cried for real. And cried... and cried... and cried. Dan was so so good about it! He just held me. He knew I needed it. Put on some relaxing music and was finally able to sleep. I woke up a few times in the night, but I left the music on and that helped lull me back to sleep.

Day 9 is today! I have been eating well today. Oh! I was eating some soup (surprise surprise! soup.) and didn't realize it till I ha done it but I actually fit the spoon into my mouth instead of slurping from it. This got me really excited and I went and grabbed a pudding cup from the pantry and ate that. I few days ago I couldn't even get a baby spoon in my mouth. I am enjoying eating a bit more normally even if everything is still liquid.

A full face of make-up to hide the bruising on my cheeks and a scarf to hide the bruising on my chest. It was cold here today anyway! I feel like an ugly man today. I am really hating my face.

 I MISS MY OLD FACE!!!

I am really glad I waited to get this surgery till after I was married, but honestly at this point I am not sure I am glad I actually went through with it. It kinda feels like a bad dream that I can't wake up from. 

Jaw Surgery Day 4

Ok. I am counting the day I had surgery as day 1. That was October 18th. Today is the 21st. I had lower jaw surgery to correct my open/over bite (it is was a little bit of both). I am glad I only had to have surgery on one jaw. I can't imagine having to deal with all my upper face being swollen/immobile too! This video does a pretty good job of explaining what I had done: BSSO and Genioplasty

I wanted to blog a bit about my experience because it is hard to find blogs that deal with an open/over bite like mine. The majority of blogs out there seem to be about underbites.

Delicious steak the night before my surgery! Mhmm!!! 

Walking in to the hospital at 5:30am. We are a little tired. 

Getting ready. 

I wasn't really nervous until the point where they were wheeling me away on the bed, but by this point they had started some drugs in my IV so I wasn't really aware of what was going on. So, I was was only nervous for like a second.  I don't really remember what happened after this point. I didn't wake up  till I was already in recovery. I remember being in some pain and crying. I think a nurse was telling me not to cry because I'd make it worse. I guess I got some pain meds then. Idk. I don't know how long I was in recovery. After awhile they moved me to a room. I was there for a little bit until Dan came back (he had to go to class while I was in surgery). 

I threw up twice the first day because of blood in my stomach I think. Throwing up was something I was really worried about, but it ended up being fine. Thankfully Dan was there to grab something because both times there was no nurse around. No mess! Yay! Then I was given some anti-nausea meds. That helped for sure. Also, I kept to warm liquids. 

I don't think if this next picture is from late in the first day or early on the second day. But the swelling really wasn't too bad yet. 

I talked a lot that first day. I was surprised by how much I talked! It started taking it toll though. So the second day I was writing things down a lot more.  Now I am talking a lot less!

Dan stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital. I am really glad he did. 

Here is a pic from on the way home from the hospital. This was around 4pm I think. I was feeling alright. But after walking around Target (picking up my prescriptions) and the long drive home I was not feeling so well anymore.  The swelling was up for sure by the time I got home. I don't think you can tell from a pic, but it was making everything more difficult. 

Yesterday (day 3) was the worst so far. The swelling was pretty high and  all the meds were making me really nauseous. Dan went and talked to a pharmacist and got me an anti-acid. I took that late in the afternoon and it helped some. Then Lisa (my little sister is here to help out) and Dan were eating some spaghetti and meatballs. It smelled so good! All I had been eating was sweet smoothie like things. I didn't know I was going to miss regular foods so bad so fast! I insisted that Dan blend me up some spaghetti. He thought it was going to be really gross, but finally did it for me anyway and conceded that it actually tasted good (yeah, he tested it for me). 

Here is Dan with my blended spaghetti and meatballs. Oh! I picked up these cups on a whim when we got my prescriptions after surgery and I am so glad! They are very helpful. I can't use spoons yet (can't open my mouth enough), but I can drink out of a cup without spilling. :)

On the third day I took a bath (well.. Basically Dan gave me a bath. I was pretty out of it!), but didn't wash my hair. Started using ice. Omg! I never loved ice so much! It really helps! I didn't want it in the hospital because my cheeks were so tender I didn't want any pressure on them. Maybe I should have let them put ice on me, Idk. 

No pictures from the third day because I looked especially gross. 

Anyway, today is day four and thanks to the anti-acids I am feeling a lot better today. Swelling and pain is still pretty much the same as yesterday. I took a shower with Dan's help and did wash my hair. The bruising is starting to become more apparent. It is all down my chest. I think you can only see a bit on my lower cheeks/chin in the picture though. 

So far this experience has been better then I expected in some ways and worse in others. I am doing alright. Just taking it one day at a time. Eating (well... drinking broth and juice) was a lot easier the first and second day. Yesterday and today it has been pretty difficult, but I am keeping up. Hoping for the swelling to do down soon! 

For the last couple hours my lower lip area has been really tingly. It is a good sign I think, but omg it is annoying! It is pretty much the same kind of tingling as if your leg or hand fell asleep, but for HOURS. Nothing could have prepared me for this. Oh well. I am kinda glad I went in to this not knowing what exactly to expect. Going through it now I don't think I would choose to experience this, but at the same time it is not too terrible. I don't really know how to explain it. 

Ok. I guess I will update again later. :)

Jaw Surgery - Sleep Study Results and Insurance Problems

Hey, so I haven't really updated because I have just been in a waiting period. Nothing much to do right now but wait till the insurance problems get sorted out and we can finally set a date for the surgery.

For some reason my insurance denied my pre-determination on the basis of my surgery being a "dental" procedure not a "medical" procedure. This isn't true! But nothing will convince them otherwise. My surgeon even called and tried to explain to them, but nooo. The lovely lady who processes the billing and insurance at my surgeon's office says this is all very weird and they have never had this problem before.

There were a brief few hours where I was freaking out and thinking this was the end, I am not gonna be able to get surgery now. Now things are looking up and I think I needed to go through that to learn a couple lessons.

1) My husband said even if we have to go through the dental insurance, which would cost us SEVERAL thousand dollars more, we will still get it because he sees the surgery as that important to my health. Wow! The fact that he is willing to do that for me, without even an ounce of hesitation or complaint, makes me feel incredibly special and cared about.

2) I came to a point where I decided I would be happy whether I get the surgery or not. For the past few months I have been seriously stressing out about getting this surgery. I decided that is just one direction my life could go and if it goes that way great! But I am not pinning my happiness on it.

3) Things will work out once way or another. My surgeon is re-doing the pre-determination and they are going to submit that again to my medical insurance. Maybe they will accept it this time, maybe they won't. That is just one way the surgery could happen. If they don't approve it we will start working on other ways. I just need to be patient.

Now, my sleep study results = "essentially normal".

Bad news: Still don't have an answer for whyyy I am often so very tired.

Good news: I only have to have surgery on my lower jaw instead of upper and lower. Less risk of complications and/or side effects from surgery that way.

Other good news, not related to my sleep study results. I don't have to have any orthodontic work done before surgery. So once the insurance stuff gets worked out we can set a date without having to worry about doing anything extra to be ready. :)

Just waiting now!

Is Modesty Biblical?

So, today we are going to go a littler deeper and a lot more controversial than I usually do here on my blog.This is a topic that has been on my mind for a few months.


My 16yo sister told me how she got in trouble for wearing tank tops at her homeschool co-op and there is now a rule against bare shoulders. Shoulders! Then a girl posted a video entitled, "Men's View on Modesty", on my 18yo sister's facebook wall. It was 14min long and I didn't even get through the first three minutes before I was so enraged I couldn't think straight. 


I can't stand this prevailing attitude that all men think about it sex sex sex and women are to blame. I have to speak out. For myself. For my sisters. For women and girls everywhere. 


As a grown up married woman I believe that the standard for how I dress should be between my husband and I. Yet, I struggle with wearing what I want to wear because I fear judgement from my parents and my community if I don't fit their standard of modesty. It shouldn't be this way! I should feel freedom in Christ. But I don't.

I have always felt, at least since being a teen, that I had to cover up and apologize for being born a woman. The homeschool and Christian community shames and burdens women with men's lust. I thought I was odd for thinking that and was really never able to put it in words until I read this recent post Modesty, Lust and Emotional Rape by a woman named Lauren Nicole. I am not alone! And, if you feel like this too, you are not alone! 


Truth is, men are so much stronger and capable then they are given credit for. This whole Christian modesty thing probably does more harm than help. It teaches men they have no responsibility. It teaches women that their beauty, a wonderful and delightful blessing from God, is a curse instead. 


Modesty. What does it mean? And is it Biblical? 


Modesty is freedom from vanity and boastfulness. Modesty is simplicity and moderation. Modesty is a behavior, a virtue, a heart issue. In that sense, modesty is Biblical. 


Modesty as a set of rules on how much skin you can show,  how tight your clothing can be, and even what type of garments you can wear is not Biblical. 


Things the bible says on this topic:

"I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

1 Timothy 2:9-10

Here we go, it is that word "modestly". Did you read all the way through verse 10? Taken in context here "modestly" is a still a virtue not a rule about skin showing. We get confused because clothes are mentioned here, but nowhere in this verse is a rule about what we can and can not wear. Look, this verse is saying you shouldn't be known for how much time you spend on your hair, or for your jewelry or be obsessed with name brands just for the name. It is not saying there is anything wrong with quality clothes, nice hair and pretty jewelry. It is simply saying don't let that consume you. Be a woman who has a heart for others. Be a woman who shows people the love of God. 

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—  but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 

1 Peter 3:3-4

Again, this is not against clothing, jewelry and hair styles. This is against letting those things be who you are. You gotta work on your internal self as well as your external self. 

“A woman shall not wear man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for the Lord your God detests anyone who does this."

 Deuteronomy 22:5

There is nothing here about not wearing pants. Or really what exactly to wear at all. Simply put this verse is telling us that God created us as a woman or a man. One is not better than the other and you should be proud of what God made you. So, if you are a woman dress like one! Don't hide yourself in baggy ill fitting men's clothing. Feel free to wear clothes that accentuate your womanliness. 

"She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple." 

Proverbs 31:21-22

So two things here. First, clothes are functional. Dress for the weather. It is totally ok and even right to have clothes specifically for different seasons, different occasions and different tasks. Second, clothes are more than just functional. Tapestry is intricate. Silk is delicate. Purple is rich. It is ok and even right to dress beautifully! It is ok to spend time and money on quality clothing that makes you feel and look good. That is all part of being a woman. A woman who is precious and valuable. 

~

In conclusion, this whole idea of Biblical modesty was never meant to be a rule book for what is and isn't right to wear. It is really about working on your internal self, becoming a better person and showing love to others. 

Thankful Tuesday - Week 2

At least five things from the past week that I am thankful for:

- my husband cleaning the toilet
- a lazy Saturday morning sleeping in with my husband
- biscuits for breakfast on Saturday
- my husband used headphones to watch TV while I was sleeping. without me even asking or anything!
- the mom I work for totally upheld my authority and made her daughter apologize for having an attitude with me.
- my husband went in the middle of the night to fill up the gas in the car because I forgot and didn't have enough to get to work
- my husband washed, dried, and folded our laundry

Thankful Tuesday - Week 1

“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

Thumper had it half right. It is every bit as important to actually say nice things.

So last week I was basically throwing a fit... umm... ever since I started working full time I just lose it emotionally about once a week. My husband is pretty good at dealing with this, but he was getting fed up and he told me that I was being really ungrateful and I was doing way too much complaining.

A few years ago Dan helped me learn to be more thankful by teaching me to verbalize my gratitude. I was really surprised how this simple act really made see so much more to be thankful for. Saying out loud "Thank you for *specific thing*" actually made me feel more thankful. I also learned not to take so much for granted, their was a lot lot be thankful for!

Well... last week he told me that complaining about stuff actually makes you feel even worse about whatever it is you are complaining about and that attitude will cary over to the rest of your life as well. That should have been so obvious, but somehow I missed it.

My husband is amazing at not complaining. I know he has plenty of things he could complain about, but it just isn't his way of life to do that. I really look up to him for this! I am queen at complaining. I am so good at it I don't even know I am doing it! I need to work on this. I am instituting Thankful Tuesdays on my blog where I will find at least five things from the past week to be thankful about.

I am thankful that:

• My husband is honest with me.
• My husband is so willing to do what it takes to get my health fixed up.
• My initial appointment with my oral surgeon is over and I feel confidant with him as a doctor. 
• The family I work for let me take their 9month old daughter to my appointment so I wouldn't have to wait till summer. (p.s. She was really good all day! Not fussy! Made the day so much easier.)
• The Dad I work for is a sleep technician. He won't be doing my study, but it has been really helpful knowing someone in the field!
• My husband cleans up around the house. 
• We made it to church for the third week in a row! 
• We went to home group for the first time and seemed to fit right in (even though everyone else is at least 30years older than us.) Plus there was good food!

Yay! That was more than five things. Now I have to be on the lookout for things to be thankful for this week.

What have you experienced this past week that you are thankful for?